Encouraging with a specific message, not a stock phrase
"Hang in there!", "Thinking of you!", "All the best!": these words are kind, but they slide off. A specific message, which says what you saw and what it did to you, stays. This quest invites you to write someone a real message of encouragement, not a formula.
What it looks like in your day
The difference between a formula and encouragement comes down to one word: specific. Here is a method in three movements.
1. What I saw. An observable fact. "On Saturday, you spoke in front of the whole group despite your fear." "I saw you stay after the meeting to help tidy up."
2. What it did to me. The effect on you. "It made me want to dare too." "I was touched to see that you were thinking of the others."
3. What I wish for them. A brief blessing. "Keep going, God is using this." "I'm praying that you keep this joy."
Some ideas of people to encourage whom we often forget: the worship leader who prepares behind the scenes, a single mom, a single person who dares not ask for anything, a church elder nobody checks in on anymore, a quiet colleague whose work goes unnoticed.
You can send the message in writing, or record it as a voice message if you prefer to speak. Avoid waiting for a reply. If you are in a hurry, three sentences are enough. If you are shy, start with a person you are already comfortable with.
What the Bible says
Paul sums up the habit to adopt:
“Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.”
"Comfort yourselves together, and edify one another": the Greek verb translated "comfort" also means "encourage" and "exhort." Encouragement is construction work: you help the other person stay on their feet. In the book of Acts, a letter of encouragement is read to the church in Antioch:
“So when they were dismissed, they came to Antioch: and when they had gathered the multitude together, they delivered the epistle: Which when they had read, they rejoiced for the consolation. And Judas and Silas, being prophets also themselves, exhorted the brethren with many words, and confirmed them.”
"They rejoiced for the consolation": a simple letter did good to a whole assembly, and Judas and Silas, who delivered it, added many exhortations by word of mouth. The letters of the New Testament are, for the most part, messages of encouragement written to weary communities.
Pitfalls to avoid
The empty formula. "Well done, keep going!" without any detail sounds like an automatic message. Add at least one specific fact.
The flattering compliment. True encouragement doesn't inflate: it highlights what is real. Otherwise, the other person will sense it.
Mixing encouragement and advice. "Great sermon, but you could articulate better" is no longer encouragement. Save the remarks for another time.
Neglecting people who seem "strong." Those who look solid receive few messages, and are sometimes the most tired.
Settling for intentions. "I should write to Mary" has never encouraged anyone. Write to her now.
Today, think of one person. Write them a specific message, with what you saw, what it did to you and what you wish for them.