Letting yourself be searched: asking God for one thing to change, then being quiet
We tend to judge ourselves, either too harshly or too leniently. In both cases, we see ourselves badly. The Bible invites a different approach: asking God to search us. This quest offers a short and demanding prayer: asking God to show you one thing to change, then staying five minutes in silence.
What it looks like in your day
Settle in. A quiet place, a comfortable position, phone off. Five minutes ahead of you.
Say the prayer. Slowly: “Search me, O God, and know my heart. Show me one thing you want to change in me. I am ready to hear it.”
Be quiet. No list, no effort at introspection. Let it come. Something may arise: an attitude, a word, a relationship, a habit, a fear, a hidden pride. Or nothing at all.
Welcome what comes. If something comes, don't rush to analyze it or defend it. Simply say: “Thank you for showing me.”
Distinguish God's voice from accusation. What God shows is precise, calm, oriented toward freedom, never crushing. A thought that calls you worthless, that condemns you wholesale, is not his voice.
Respond. If something is shown to you, ask forgiveness if it is a wrong, ask for help to change, and note one small concrete step.
Give thanks. Even if nothing came, give thanks: you made yourself available.
This prayer is different from the evening review: here, you aren't searching yourself, you let God show you. It takes trust: you may be afraid of what you will discover, but the one who searches is the one who loves.
If you are short on time, three minutes. If you are shy, this is intimate and discreet. If you are very self-critical, specify to God: “Show me gently.”
What the Bible says
Psalm 139 ends with this prayer:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”: the psalmist asks God to examine his heart, and above all to lead him. He isn't afraid of that gaze. Psalm 19 is just as honest:
“Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults.”
“Who can understand his errors? cleanse thou me from secret faults”: there are shadowy areas in us that we don't see, and that God can light up. The prophet Jeremiah reminds us that the heart is deceitful, and that God alone searches it (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
Pitfalls to avoid
Manufacturing a fault. If nothing comes, don't invent anything. There can be times of silence without an answer. Stay confident.
Confusing guilt with conviction. God's conviction leads to freedom and life; crushing guilt leads to despair. If you feel crushed, go back to grace.
Rushing into action. Something shown calls for prayer before you move. Let it mature.
Avoiding the prayer out of fear. Some avoid asking God to search them for fear of what they will discover. That is understanding God backwards.
Doing it alone. If what you discover is heavy, talk about it with someone you trust.
Today, ask God to show you one thing to change. Then stay five minutes in silence.