Mentoring: walking with someone over the long haul, like Elijah and Elisha
A mentor is not a teacher or a boss: he or she is a believer a little further along who walks with someone over the long term. They listen, question, share their experience, point to the Bible, pray. This relationship, which has always existed in the Church's history, meets an immense need. This monthly quest invites you to take time with someone to listen to them, advise them from the Bible and pray with them.
What it looks like in your day
Choose the relationship. You can be a mentor (walking with someone younger in the faith) or a mentee (being accompanied). Sometimes both: we are always the most advanced for someone and the least advanced for another.
Set a framework. A monthly meeting of one to two hours, or more often at the start. A quiet place. An agreed length for the relationship (six months, a year), renewable.
Follow a meeting outline:
- Welcome and news (10 minutes). How are you really? What has happened since last time?
- Listening (20 minutes). Let the person talk about what they are living: joys, trials, questions, decisions. Ask open questions.
- Biblical counsel (15 minutes). Look for a passage that sheds light. Read it together, reflect on its application.
- One concrete step (5 minutes). "What are you going to put into practice before next time?"
- Prayer (10 minutes). Pray for each other, specifically.
Know how to say "I don't know." A good mentor doesn't have an answer for everything. They point the way, search, ask others for advice.
Share your own struggles too. Authenticity is the key to mentoring. A mentor with no flaws inspires little.
Keep confidentiality.
Evaluate regularly. Is this relationship useful? Does the pace need to change? Is it time to end it or to widen it?
If you are in a hurry, a forty-minute meeting can already count. If you are shy, start with a person you feel comfortable with. If you don't have a mentor, look for one in your church.
What the Bible says
Paul sums up passing things on in one sentence:
“And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.”
"The things that thou hast heard of me... commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also": the chain continues, from one link to the next. Paul invites the Philippians to live out what they received from him:
“Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.”
"Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do": a mentor passes things on by word and by example. He even writes to the Corinthians: "Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1): the mentor doesn't set himself up as an absolute model, he points to Christ. The story of Elijah and Elisha (2 Kings 2:9) illustrates a mentoring that is both intense and tender.
Pitfalls to avoid
Cloning. A good mentor helps the other become themselves, not resemble you.
Placing yourself too high. A mentor is not a guru. Stay humble.
Hiding your weaknesses. Authenticity is a way of teaching.
Dependence. The goal is for the mentee to become autonomous. Encourage them to seek other voices too.
Committing without thinking. Mentoring takes time and regularity. Check that you can keep it up.
This month, take time with someone: listening, biblical counsel, prayer.