Praying with the Spirit: when you don't know what to say

There are moments when praying becomes impossible: a bereavement, anxiety, immense fatigue, a situation you can't put a name to. You open your mouth, nothing comes. The Bible doesn't see this as a failure: it sees instead an opportunity for very concrete help. This quest invites you to read Romans 8:26-27, then to pray by asking the Spirit to carry what you can't say.

What it looks like in your day

1. Read the passage slowly, once or twice: Romans 8:26-27.
2. Acknowledge your state. “Lord, I don't know what to ask you. I'm stuck, tired, lost.”
3. Invite the Spirit. “Holy Spirit, pray in me. Tell God what I don't know how to say.”
4. Stay in silence, without forcing yourself. You can put your hand on your heart, cry, sigh, or do nothing. A sigh is a prayer.
5. Hand over to God what is on your mind. Even without precise words: “You know, Lord.”
6. End with a thank-you, in advance, for what the Spirit is doing.

This way of praying is open to everyone: it asks for neither eloquence nor training. It suits moments of exhaustion, distress, overload or emptiness particularly well.

Some believers also pray with words they don't understand, in a language given by the Spirit. Others don't. Christians don't all think the same on this point, and it is not the subject of this quest: what Paul's passage shows us applies to everyone, namely that the Spirit helps our weakness.

If you are short on time, thirty seconds of silence after inviting the Spirit are enough. If you are shy, this way of praying is made for you: no words to find.

What the Bible says

Paul writes to the Romans:

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”

Three things are said. First, we don't know what we should ask for: this is a common weakness, not an exception. Second, the Spirit intercedes with groanings that cannot be uttered: he prays with us and for us, in a language that even we don't understand. Finally, God, who searches hearts, knows the mind of the Spirit: he understands perfectly what is going on. Jude also encourages us to pray in the Holy Spirit (Jude 1:20), and Paul ties prayer to the Spirit in the letter to the Ephesians (Ephesians 6:18).

This changes how we see prayer: it is not first an effort on our part, but a participation in what the Spirit is already doing in us.

Pitfalls to avoid

Chasing an experience. Praying with the Spirit doesn't mean waiting for spectacular sensations. You may feel nothing and yet be carried. Stay confident.

Setting this prayer against prayers with words. Both are good. When you have words, use them. When you don't, let the Spirit speak.

Making this prayer a test of spirituality. Nobody is “more spiritual” because they pray in a certain way. The Spirit is given to all believers.

Cutting yourself off from the Word. The Spirit doesn't contradict the Bible. If a thought comes to you that opposes it, it is not from him.

Staying alone in distress. If your difficulties are heavy, talk to someone: a brother or sister, a pastor, a professional. The Spirit often works through others.

Today, if you have no words, simply say: “Holy Spirit, pray in me.” Then stay a while in silence.