Reporting a need: telling your group or leader so they can help

You learn that someone around you is going through a hard time: a layoff, an illness, a bereavement, a housing problem, an impossible end of the month. You would like to help, but you don't know what to do, or whether you are the right person. Often, you keep the information to yourself, out of modesty or fear of “gossiping.” This quest invites you to report the need to your group or your leader, so that help can be organized.

What it looks like in your day

Understand the need. What exactly is it? A material need (meals, money, housing, transport), a practical one (childcare, moving, paperwork), a moral one (a visit, listening, presence), a spiritual one (prayer, accompaniment)?

Ask the person's agreement, if possible. “Would you be okay with me telling our leader, so that we can help you?” Many say yes with relief. If the person refuses, respect that, except in case of serious danger.

Choose the contact. A group leader, a pastor, a deacon, a mutual-aid team. Someone who knows how to be discreet and organized.

Pass on the essentials. “Marie has just lost her job. She has two children. She would need support with childcare and maybe with groceries. She agrees to my telling you.” Without unnecessary details.

Respect confidentiality. Don't spread the information around the whole group without agreement. Effective help can be discreet.

Offer your contribution. “I can bring a meal on Tuesday.”

Follow up. A few days later, ask what has been set up. Stay in touch with the person.

If you are short on time, a message to your leader is enough. If you are shy, you don't have to manage it yourself: you pass it on. If you hesitate to “squeal,” remember that the aim is to help, not to expose.

What the Bible says

The book of Acts describes how the early Church lived out solidarity:

“And all that believed were together, and had all things common; And sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need.”

“Sold their possessions and goods, and parted them to all men, as every man had need”: everyone's need was known, and the community responded to it. For this to work, someone had to report. In the same book, a problem is brought to the apostles' attention: widows are being neglected in the daily distribution (Acts 6:1-4). The need was raised, the community got organized. James also invites us to call on the leaders in case of illness (James 5:14).

Pitfalls to avoid

Speaking without agreement. Disclosing someone's situation without their agreement can hurt them. Ask them, or stay discreet.

Making noise. Avoid very wide group messages. Go through an appropriate channel.

Offloading. Reporting is not getting rid of the problem. Stay available to help.

Neglecting the person. Don't treat them like a “case file.” Keep the bond, check in on them.

Hesitating out of modesty. Many needs go unmet because nobody dared to say them. Speaking is an act of love.

Today, if you know someone in difficulty, let your group or your leader know, with the person's agreement.