Sharing a meal: lunch with a colleague or a loved one
Lunch is often the most neglected moment of the day: in front of the screen, in a hurry, in a corner. Yet sharing a meal is one of the oldest gestures of fellowship. This quest invites you to ask a colleague or a loved one to lunch with you, and to take a real interest in them.
What it looks like in your day
This is not about a gala dinner. It is about choosing a person and a moment, eating together, and letting the conversation do its work. Here is how:
- Choose the person. A colleague who joined recently, someone who rarely gets invited, a relative you don't see much, a neighbor. Not necessarily a close friend: sometimes the lunch is what creates the friendship.
- Just ask. “Do you feel like having lunch together tomorrow?” No complicated wording.
- Pick an ordinary setting. A canteen, a sandwich on a bench, an inexpensive restaurant.
- Put the phone away. It stays in your pocket, or face down, out of reach.
- Ask questions. About where they come from, their work, their passions, their family, what makes them proud. Pick up on what they say.
- Listen more than you talk. If you talk about yourself, let it be in answer to their questions.
Over a few meals, this gesture builds trust, something neither emails nor meetings achieve. It also prepares the ground for deeper conversations, if they come.
If you are short on time, a twenty-five-minute lunch is enough. If you are shy, sharing a meal is easier than talking in an empty room: you always have something to do with your hands. If you work remotely, a video-call coffee works too.
What the Bible says
Here is how the early Church lived:
“And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.”
“Breaking bread from house to house, [they] did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart”: the life of the Church was made not only of meetings, but of shared meals. And the text adds that they had favour with all the people. Luke's Gospel also tells how two disciples recognize Jesus, in a house, at a meal:
“And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them. And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.”
He takes the bread, gives thanks, and breaks it. At that simple gesture, “their eyes were opened”. And after his resurrection, Jesus himself prepares a meal of grilled fish on the beach for his weary disciples, and says to them: “Come and dine” (John 21:12). The table is a place where people truly meet.
Pitfalls to avoid
Turning the meal into a meeting. If you show up with an agenda, the person will feel trapped. Let the conversation flow.
Looking for something in return. A meal shared to get a favor or to convert someone smells like a maneuver. Invite out of simple interest in the other person.
Talking about yourself. This is the classic trap: answering every anecdote with one of our own. Hold back: ask instead, “And then what happened?”
Choosing a setting that is too formal. The simpler it is, the easier it is to accept. Don't set the bar too high.
Ending too soon. If the conversation gets going, don't look at your watch. Leave time.
Today, ask someone to have lunch with you this week. Set a day and a simple place, and prepare a few questions.