Thanking God for a non-believer you love
We often pray for the non-believers we love: for their health, their choices, their openness. We rarely thank God for them. Yet giving thanks for someone changes our outlook on them. This quest offers a reversal: thanking God for a non-believer you love.
What it looks like in your day
Choose a person: a parent, a spouse, a brother, a friend, a colleague. Then, for a few minutes, thank God for them, looking for specific reasons:
- For who they are. Their humor, their generosity, their loyalty, their courage, their way of listening.
- For what they have brought you. A piece of advice, support, a laugh in a dark moment, a truth they told you.
- For the place they hold in your life. What would you do without them?
- For the signs of God in them. Many non-believers have qualities that reflect something of God: compassion, justice, creativity.
One possible prayer: “Lord, thank you for Claire. Thank you for her integrity and for the way she was there when I needed her. Thank you for putting her on my path. You know her better than I do.”
This gratitude is not a roundabout way of pleading for their conversion. It is true in itself: the person has value, because they are created and loved by God.
If you are short on time, three reasons to give thanks are enough. If you are shy, this gesture is entirely inward. If you have a difficult relationship, look for just one thing, even small, to be thankful for: it can start to change your outlook.
What the Bible says
At the beginning, the Bible says of every human being:
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
Every person, believer or not, bears the image of God. This grounds their dignity, and it is a good reason to give thanks. The psalmist says it too about himself:
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
If this is true of you, it is true of your non-believing friend: they too were formed by God in their mother's womb. Finally, Paul reminds us that it is God's goodness that leads people to him:
“Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?”
The kindness you notice in this person may be one of the ways God reaches them, and you are a witness to it. Paul, in his letters, often begins by giving thanks for the people he loves (Philippians 1:3-5).
Pitfalls to avoid
Giving thanks with an ulterior motive. If your gratitude is only a means to get to talk about Jesus, it loses its truth. Give thanks without expecting anything.
Idealizing. You can give thanks for their qualities without denying their flaws. Gratitude doesn't require perfection.
Separating “us” and “them.” Non-believers are not “targets”: they are people, like you, whom God loves. Keep that outlook.
Forgetting to tell them. If you feel it is appropriate, tell them one day what you appreciate about them. Thanks spoken aloud are precious.
Considering them “lost.” God knows them and is seeking them. Trust him for what comes next.
Today, take one person. Tell God three reasons to thank him for them.