Welcoming a newcomer: five minutes so they don't stay alone

You may remember it: the first time you walked into a church, a group, an unfamiliar place, everything felt foreign. People knew each other, chatted among themselves, laughed. You were looking for a friendly glance. A single smile would have changed everything. This quest invites you to become that smile for someone else: to spot a person who is alone or new, and to go talk to them for five minutes.

What it looks like in your day

Spot them. At a gathering, look around: who is alone near the entrance? Who is looking at their phone for lack of anything better? Who hesitates to step into a circle of conversation? Who is a different age, or from a different background, than most of the people there?

Go to them. Don't leave the other person with the effort of making the first move. Smile and introduce yourself: "Hi, I'm Julien. I don't think we've met yet?"

Ask simple questions. "Have you lived in the neighborhood long?" "How did you hear about this church?" "Did you have trouble finding us?" Listen to the answers.

Introduce them to someone else. A newcomer won't remember your first name after five minutes, but when you introduce them to two or three people, you are already opening doors for them.

Suggest a next step. "I'll save you a seat next to me for the service." "Want to join us for a coffee?" "Shall we see each other again next Sunday?"

Don't drop them too quickly. Stay with them until they have found a way into a conversation.

Think about follow-up. If you have their number, send a message during the week: "It was great to meet you."

Five minutes is enough to leave a mark. Many people who stay in a community say that at the beginning, only one person spoke to them.

If you are in a hurry, a simple hello with a first name already counts. If you are shy, going up to someone is hard, but the other person is often more relieved than you are. If you are new yourself, it is still possible: two shy people talking make a conversation.

What the Bible says

Paul writes to the Romans:

“Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.”

"Receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God": the model for welcoming is the one we received from Christ. He welcomed us as we were, with no precondition. In the letter to Philemon, Paul asks his friend to welcome Onesimus, a runaway slave who had become a Christian:

“If thou count me therefore a partner, receive him as myself.”

"Receive him as myself": welcoming the newcomer is put on the same level as welcoming Paul himself. And in the book of Acts, Barnabas takes Saul, whom everyone fears, and brings him to the apostles (Acts 9:26-27): welcoming and introducing is precisely what this quest proposes.

Pitfalls to avoid

Welcoming only those you click with. It is natural to go toward people like us. Make the effort to speak to those who are different.

Asking intrusive questions. "How long have you been a believer?" is a bit direct for a first meeting. Stick to simple topics.

Making a speech. Don't present the whole church in ten minutes. A light conversation is enough.

Abandoning the newcomer once they are introduced. Stay alert so that they don't end up alone again.

Leaving it to the leaders. Welcoming does not depend only on the welcome team: it is everyone's business.

At the next gathering, spot someone who is alone or new and go talk to them for five minutes.