Greeting and smiling at someone you often ignore
There are people we pass every day without seeing them: the building caretaker, the person who cleans the offices, the neighbor we avoid with a nod, the silent colleague. This quest offers a very simple gesture: saying hello to them, with a real smile.
What it looks like in your day
Think of a person you pass regularly but never speak to. Or whom you greet half-heartedly, on autopilot. Tomorrow, change something:
- Look them in the eye. A greeting without eye contact is only a noise.
- Call them by their first name if you know it, or ask: “I don't know your first name, I'm Julie.”
- Say one more sentence than usual. “Have a good day.” “It's cold this morning, isn't it?”
- Smile sincerely. Not a stuck-on smile: think of the person as someone important, because they are.
If you are the reserved type, this gesture may take effort, but it is very accessible: it takes ten seconds. If you are short on time, it can be done while walking. If you are shy, start with a simple “Hello” along with a look, and add a sentence next time.
There is no hidden aim. You are not trying to convert anyone or get anything: you are giving someone back the dignity of a person who is seen. In the long run, it creates bonds, and sometimes conversations.
What the Bible says
Jesus makes attention to others a distinguishing mark of his disciples:
“And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?”
“What do ye more than others?”: greeting only those close to us is not yet what Jesus asks. He invites us to go further, toward those who are not obvious to us. In Luke's Gospel, he notices Zacchaeus, a man everyone despised:
“And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up, and saw him, and said unto him, Zaccheus, make haste, and come down; for to day I must abide at thy house. And he made haste, and came down, and received him joyfully.”
Jesus sees him, calls him by name, and goes to his house. That is what it means to see someone whom others ignore. Paul writes to the Romans: “in honour preferring one another” (Romans 12:10): a respectful greeting is a form of honor given.
Pitfalls to avoid
A facade smile. People can tell when a smile is a mask. First take a moment to think of the person and wish them well inwardly.
A missionary ulterior motive. Don't greet someone solely so as to be able to talk to them about your faith afterwards. The greeting is a gift in itself.
Being a nuisance. Some people don't want a conversation. Respect their pace: a brief, warm greeting is enough.
Forgetting consistency. An isolated greeting is pleasant; greeting every day builds a bond. Regularity speaks more than intensity.
Neglecting those at home. Your spouse or children also need this real look in the morning. Don't reserve your kindness for strangers.
Tomorrow, spot one person you usually ignore. Say hello looking at them, and add a sentence.