Keeping a pending promise, even a small one
We make dozens of small promises without thinking: “I'll call you tomorrow,” “I'll send it tonight,” “See you soon,” “I'll pray for you.” Many remain in limbo. This quest invites you to spot a pending promise and keep it today, even if it is small.
What it looks like in your day
Take a minute to go over your unkept promises. In your planner, your messages, your memory. They often take one of these forms:
- A promised phone call. To a relative, a friend, a sick person.
- A document to send. A recommendation, a quote, an answer.
- An offered favor. “I can help you move,” “I'll lend you my tool.”
- An announced prayer. “I'm praying for you”: did you do it?
- A meeting mentioned. “We should have lunch together.”
Choose one, the oldest or the easiest, and do it today. If you can no longer keep it, say so frankly: “I had promised you that, I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry.”
For the future, a few habits help: noting your promises as soon as you make them, not saying yes out of politeness, specifying a realistic deadline (“by Friday”), and saying “I'll see” rather than “I'll do it” when you are not sure.
If you are short on time, choose the promise that is quickest to keep. If you are shy, a written message is enough. If you are the type to promise everyone everything, this is a good moment to learn to measure.
What the Bible says
Jesus has a very simple teaching:
“Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths: But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. Neither shalt thou swear by thy head, because thou canst not make one hair white or black. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil.”
“Let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay”: your word should be enough, without oath or reinforcement. The one whose word can be counted on doesn't need to lean on guarantees. Psalm 15 describes the person who can live near God:
“In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the Lord. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.”
“He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not”: he keeps his word even when it costs him. Ecclesiastes adds a piece of wisdom:
“Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay. Suffer not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thine hands?”
“Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay”: better to commit to little and keep it than to promise a lot and forget.
Pitfalls to avoid
Promising too much. Many unkept promises come from a “yes” given too quickly. Learn to say: “Let me check my calendar and get back to you.”
Keeping it without heart. A promise kept reluctantly and in a bad mood spoils the gesture. If you do it, do it willingly.
Feeling guilty about the past. If you have forgotten many things, don't let yourself be crushed. Choose one, and take up the habit again.
Promising a prayer without praying. When you say “I'm praying for you,” pray right away, or note it down. It is a promise that many forget.
Not giving notice. When you can no longer keep it, say so before the other person finds out. It shows respect.
Today, spot a pending promise. Keep it, even if it is small, or frankly say that you can't anymore.