Thanking a forgotten person: those whose work we no longer see
Some work is so regular that it becomes invisible: the always-clean hallway, the always-on-time bus, the always-ready meal, the always-folded laundry. We notice it only when it is missing. This quest invites you to look for a person whose work goes unnoticed, and to thank them in a way that shows them they are seen.
What it looks like in your day
Think of the people who make your daily life work without your seeing them:
- The cleaner who cleans your office or your building.
- The bus or tram driver who takes you every day.
- The parent who prepares the meals and runs the house.
- The assistant who keeps everyone's calendar running.
- The volunteer who opens the church, sets up the chairs, makes the coffee.
- The mail carrier, the garbage collector, the caretaker, the technician.
A few ways to say thank you to such a person:
- Write them a note. A card, a note slipped into a locker, a letter. Written words stay, and can be reread.
- Be specific. “Thank you for your work” is fine. “Thank you for always leaving the meeting room spotless, it makes our mornings nicer” is memorable.
- Learn their first name if you don't know it, and use it.
- Say it out loud and face to face, if you can. Or mention it to their manager.
- If it is your parent, your spouse, your roommate, thank them too: we forget more easily those who are close to us.
If you are short on time, a thank-you said looking them in the eye is enough. If you are shy, the written note is ideal. If you want to go further, give a small gift (a chocolate, a flower).
What the Bible says
Paul asks us to give everyone what is due to them:
“Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”
Among taxes and respect, he mentions “honour to whom honour”: acknowledging other people's work is a debt of fairness. He also describes the body of Christ as a whole in which the least visible members are the most necessary:
“Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:”
“Those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary”: God has willed that honor go more to those who receive the least. In the same spirit, Paul greets by name in his letters dozens of people who served in the shadows (Romans 16:1-16), including several women: he thanks them by name, and those names have remained.
Pitfalls to avoid
Thanking with condescension. “You do a wonderful job, well done!” can sound like an evaluation from above. Speak as an equal.
A mechanical thank-you. If you say “thanks” without looking, there is no encounter. Take two seconds to be present.
Thanking only those who count. It is easy to thank your superiors. The effort is to see those at the bottom of the ladder.
Looking for an effect. A thank-you is not a calculation: don't use it to be appreciated.
Replacing the thank-you with money. A tip is welcome, but it doesn't say “I see you.” Combine the two.
Today, spot a person whose work goes unnoticed. Write them a specific note, or say thank you to their face.